Nourish & Empower
Have you ever felt like you could use a little extra support when working on your relationship with food and your body? Join Jessica, a Licensed Professional Counselor, and Maggie, a Registered Dietitian & Certified Eating Disorders Specialist, along with special guests, as we chat about mental health, nutrition, eating disorders, diet culture, body image, and so much more. Together, we have close to 20 years of experience working in eating disorders and mental health treatment. Let’s redefine, reclaim, & restore the true meaning of health on The Nourish & Empower Podcast.
Nourish & Empower
Your Body Is Not a Postpartum Before & After
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The postpartum period can feel like you’re recovering from something huge while the world keeps asking you to “snap back” and smile through it. We wanted a more honest conversation, so we brought on Emily Henning Kuzmanoski, a licensed therapist at Healing on Hudson in Hoboken, New Jersey, who specializes in eating disorders, disordered eating, body image, anxiety, and major life transitions. Together, we name what so many parents experience but rarely say out loud: your body can change in real ways, your relationships can shift overnight, and your brain is doing nonstop “cable management” just to get through the day.
We talk about postpartum body image and the grief that can come with a new shape, a C-section scar, or a core that feels different, while also making space for gratitude. Emily breaks down why comments like “You don’t even look like you had a baby” or “You’ll get your body back” can hit so hard, and how boundaries and a social media clean out can protect your mental health. We also dig into the pressure created by GLP-1 weight loss medications and online comparison, and why prioritizing healing, nourishment, and realistic recovery matters more than chasing an aesthetic.
You’ll leave with practical tools like body neutrality prompts, permission to buy clothes that fit now, and simple ways support people can actually help (think meals, snacks, coffee, and DoorDash gift cards). If you’ve ever felt torn between loving your baby and missing your old life, you’re not alone. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.
Show notes:
Trigger warning: this show is not medical, nutrition, or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a Registered Dietitian, Licensed Mental Health Provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider, as well as crisis resources, in the show notes. Listener discretion is advised.
Resource links:
Hilltop Behavioral Health: https://hilltopbehavioralhealth.com/
Alliance for Eating Disorders: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/
ANAD: https://anad.org/
NEDA: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
NAMI: https://nami.org/home
Action Alliance: https://theactionalliance.org/
NIH: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/
How to find a provider:
https://map.nationaleatingdisorders.org/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
https://www.healthprofs.com/us/nutritionists-dietitians?tr=Hdr_Brand
Suicide & crisis awareness hotline: call 988 (available 24/7)
Eating Disorder hotline: call or text 800-931-2237 (Phone line is available Monday-Thursday 11 am-9 pm ET and Friday 11 am-5 pm ET; text line is available Monday-Thursday 3-6 pm ET and Friday 1-5 pm ET)
If you are experiencing a psychiatric or medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Welcome And Trigger Warning
SPEAKER_03Join us as we redefine, reclaim, and restore the true meaning of health.
SPEAKER_02Let's dive into the tough conversations about mental health, nutrition, eating disorders, diet culture, and body image. This is Nourish and Empower.
Sponsor And Where To Get Help
SPEAKER_02This episode is brought to you by Hilltop Behavioral Health, specializing in eating disorder treatment. Hilltop offers integrated therapy and nutrition care in one compassionate setting.
SPEAKER_03Their expert team works with you to achieve recovery and avoid the need for higher levels of care. Visit www.hilltopbehavioralhealth.com because healing happens
Meet Therapist Emily Henning Kuzmanski
SPEAKER_03here.
SPEAKER_02Hello, everyone, and welcome to this week's episode of the Nourish and Empowered Podcast. Today we have Emily Henning Kuzmanski. Emily is a licensed therapist at Healing on Hudson in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in eating disorders, disordered eating, body image, anxiety, and life transitions. She is passionate about helping clients build a more peaceful relationship with food and their bodies. Outside of the therapy room, Emily is a new mom who loves sharing the real life intersections of motherhood, mental health, and everyday life. Trigger warning. We are identifying the following triggers that will be discussed, but on are not limited to eating disorders, mental health, body image, postpartum, and pregnancy. Listener discretion is advised. This show is not medical nutrition or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a registered dietitian, a licensed mental health provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider as well as crisis resources in the show notes. Did I butcher it or was I okay? You were good.
unknownI got real nervous.
SPEAKER_00I was like, oh no, what did I do?
SPEAKER_04I know. Even as many times as you practice it, sometimes with this last name, it's the long.
SPEAKER_02Well, I just like as one who I mean, and I feel like Coviello isn't like my maiden name is not hard, but the amount of people that are like core Violo, Caviolo, Coviello, I'm like, well, let me not butcher a last thing. Like to feel the pain of it. So I just wanted to.
SPEAKER_03Well, thanks so much for being here. I know you guys are meeting, which is so fun, but we've gotten to work together in the past. So it's great to get to see you again and like get to follow your career the past few years, too. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Likewise, it's been so fun. We were working together when we were little baby therapists and dietitians too. I was doing internship. You weren't too far out of school, right? At the time.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Oh my gosh. No, I was probably like a year out of school when we were working together. And yeah, was like so, so young. Because also dieticians didn't need masters at that point. So I was probably like 22 or 23 years old.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Oh my god, babies.
SPEAKER_02Very young. When I think of 22, I'm like, wow, back in the day, I thought it was rule in the world. And now I look at 2020 and I'm like, you're a child. Like you are so young. Respectfully, you are a itty bitty. Like it's so crazy how you know, adults back, they really were right when they're like, you think you're an adult and you're not. And now I'm like, they were right to say that. Right. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_04And 20s are just so messy too. I love working with clients in their 20s. Do not get me wrong. I loved my 20s, but it's just there's so much that's unsettled, I feel like, in that phase of life for a lot of people, too.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. Cause you're still like like Maggie, like you just said, you're either finishing school or like Emily and I, we're still in grad school because therapists always need that. Dieticians now need a master's degree, right?
SPEAKER_03Yes, now, but yeah, but back then it wasn't required.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02So you're like still in school, kind of, or like in a job, partying, what's real life, but also I'm in real life. Like it's just yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I know a lot of folks are living at home, or I
Why Life Transitions Hit Recovery
SPEAKER_04was living at home for a chunk of my 20s too, but then kind of readjusting and moving out. And yeah, it's a lot. No.
SPEAKER_02And you are the expert of transitions in life.
SPEAKER_04I love it. I love working with clients on life transitions, some transitions they don't love, but I think it is so, so, so rewarding to really just help a client get through a difficult point in their life. Difficult but yet exciting. You know, there's we talk a lot in the dialectics when we're going through the life transitions that both can be true. This can be so exciting and so fun, but this can be so hard too. How did you get into that? Into what piece?
SPEAKER_02Great question. Honestly, all of it. But like life transitions specifically. Like, how did you get into that? And then I guess how did that you too, like pregnancy postpartum?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that I I took a liking to it when I, you know, it was just beginning my career as a therapist. I did a lot of my training, actually, all of my training in eating disorder work. And what I always found fascinating was that it was never just an eating disorder that somebody was working with. And eating disorder is, as we know, just kind of hit all phases of life, really for anyone and can really uh resurface sometimes too. So I think that's where it came in. And then also that kind of connection between, you know, a stressful life event leading onto more symptoms of an eating disorder or more body image distress, too. That kind of got me into the liking of these life transitions and working with clients with that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. No, I feel like that's such an important. I mean, I feel like everything you said is just like so spot on because people don't realize that eating disorders are so much more complicated and complex than it's like just an eating disorder. Like some people may just have anxiety or may just have depression, but with eating disorders, it's never one. There's always a multitude of things. And with life transitions, right? Like we just did an interview about colleges and how college is a huge transition and how having your team while you're doing that is so crucial. And I feel like, again, people don't always put two and two together that like stressors heighten eating disordered thoughts and behaviors. And you're always transitioning, right? Like change is the most constant thing and the most guaranteed thing we have in life. And trying to navigate recovery while you are always thrown a transition is like is insane.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. It's gonna really ebb and flow as much. And then to kind of get to the second part of your question, too, uh just from my experience with becoming a new mom and realizing there's just been so many transitions going on in my life right now, too, that I've been able to kind of connect it to some of the work that I've been doing with clients. I've worked with clients postpartum prior to me having my baby, too. But just I've had such a newfound understanding, of course, for everything that goes through, you know, the postpartum mind, postpartum body, and really just the adjustment of becoming a parent, too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's a crazy adjustment. No longer just thinking about like you thought your mind was busy. Then you have a kid and you have no idea what busy was, at least for my brain. I'm like or tired.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, yes, yes. I do have to say, and this might be very controversial hot take, but like there's part of me that is very happy that I got a dog before I had a baby. Because having to live off of like my dog's schedule of like feeding and like walks and things like that, because and again, I know a dog and a baby are two very different things. Like, I'm not comparing, but like it really gets you ready to like have a life that isn't your own. Like, who's watching the dog? If we're away on vacation, do we have things scheduled? And like similar of like, okay, we're flying. What does the baby need? What is like what are the nap schedules? Who am I telling? Who's getting a babysitter? Like it was a helpful transition to the transition. I agree. For my opinion, it helped a lot.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I think it really does help you kind of get into like the caretaker mindset too. 100%, 100%.
unknownYeah.
Postpartum Themes Body And Boundaries
SPEAKER_03When it comes to postpartum, what Emily, what do you feel like are some of the main themes that get brought up to you that people are struggling with postpartum?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely. I think number one, I think body image definitely comes up all the time. Body image and kind of like this this grief that comes with, you know, just what your body previously was. And I put that in air quotations too, because I want to preface your body is still your body. And that's what I really try to work with clients on. It's just it has different, it may feel different, you know, you different things may, you know, look or feel different. That's one of the main ones that come up. Relationships and boundaries is one that I've noticed with myself as well as working with clients too, that come up in themes of postpartum, that your relationship with your partner may change, that your relationship with your family, your extended family, your friends, a lot of those things may change when, you know, you're in the postpartum era of your life. And I think also too, just how we're physically taking care of ourselves too. And, you know, whether it's sleep deprivation or, you know, fueling ourselves and, you know, navigating with any like related pain that may come with postpartum or healing from birth or c-section, all of those things. So really trying to attune to physical needs as well as your mental health needs too. That could sometimes, as we know, coincide to sleep deprivation, leading to, you know, more ill irritability or just feeling, you know, more anxious or down. All of the things.
SPEAKER_02It's making me like relive my first year. And because it's you don't because it's it's so funny, right? Like when you're on a schedule of like, so like me, my son, like I am an exclusive pumper. I don't like I don't breastfeed. And so it was like I knew that every three hours I had to wake up, I had to feed him, I had to do the thing. So like when you're on the schedule and your body, your body does get used to it, which is also kind of wild, of like getting used to having to wake up every three to four hours. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And now all of a sudden you're like, okay, I'm here. What do I have to do right now? And you just like know what to do. But then all of a sudden, it's like, you know, throughout the day, you're like, oh my God, I'm exhausted. And it's like a type of exhaustion that you that is so hard to explain. But it is just so like it's crazy to go through the experience of holy bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. My body just did, you're welcome, because I got hards a whole lot. All of these different things that my body just accomplished. Like my body just created a human, it reorganized my organs to make said human, it uh pushed out a baby, or you know, for some people, uh baby was uh, you know, mechanically delivered through C-section, and now all of a sudden it's forming itself back naturally, right? If we think about what the body is doing to get all of your organs back to where they need to be while you are uh choosing or not choosing to like feed, uh it's also like I don't even know what this body is anymore. Yeah, because your body's also doing things it's never done before. Like it's a very interesting experience.
SPEAKER_04It's a lot of giving yourself grace and it's going to look different, you know. And that's what I like to troubleshoot with some of my clients too, is that, you know, giving yourself grace today might be, you know, I'm going to ask for help. You know, I'm going to reach out to a family member, or I'm going to ask my partner if I could just have 30 minutes to take like a good everything shower, or I am going to take a drive, or whatever it may be, right? That the house might not look perfect. You know, we might not have the best outfit on today, and that is okay. Or, you know, our meals, obviously, we're getting our meals in, but they might not be perfectly curated or did we did the amount of prep that we had hoped, but we kept a human alive and we kept ourselves, you know, nourished and feeling, okay, those are the top two priorities I really try to address. Or that we might take a nap when the it gets on my nerves when people say we take a nap when the baby naps. Personally, I I cannot, but I will I love to sit and relax, I will say. But you're just getting quiet side to yourself, essentially.
SPEAKER_02Yes, because you need that. And it is just like, and I love that you brought up too of how like your relationships with people change and how that's not a bad thing, it's just part of it. And that's even like you you're even the relationship with yourself is going to be different, right? Like, I am not one, even as a therapist, I'm not one to like overly advocate for myself, but you will be bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep if you don't think that I'm going to be advocating for my son. If you don't think that I'm going to be stepping up and doing all the things to make sure that he's taken care of. And like, even for me, it was like, okay, who has the snacks? Where are my snacks? What am I doing? What am I asking for? And like, you might not be used to that, but it is like that, even within itself, I feel like is transition of how are you communicating? Yeah. You showing up for yourself. And it's just like transition doesn't have to be just like, I'm pregnant, I had a baby. It's also transition of like, who are you? It's just a lot of change at once. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04And I always picture it too, of just so much hardwiring happening with the neurons in our brains and making all these synapses and everything, too, of just this is getting connected and this is getting rearranged. It's it's almost like cable management. I just bought a new desk too. So I'm thinking of like cable management now. I'm hiding all of these wires, but I'm trying to cable manage in my brain how I'm going to asking for help is one of my weaknesses, how I'm going to delegate tasks today to make sure that my son is able to, you know, kind of follow his routine as much as I can. Well, I have a lot of work done and I have things to do around the house and X, Y, and Z too. But it's it's all of these different things. I think that is one of the, I guess, not so talked about part of postpartum too, is really just the amount of that relationships may change, and especially with yourself, and just you know, how your behavior changes when you, you know, become a mom or become a parent, rather.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What
Comments Toxic Positivity And Duality
SPEAKER_02do you feel like is a because I know Maggie and I have like very surface level loosely talked about postpartum on the podcast before? And so, like, for someone who works day in and day out with like women who are going through this, like what do you feel like is a our typical themes, body image-wise, in addition to comments? Oh yeah, like how do you like what are those themes and like how do you support the women in the realm of comments?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely. So a lot of themes, and I think I want to preface too that this is why in this transition with pregnancy and postpartum that it's so challenging because it just seems so public, right? Like as your baby is growing and developing, our our bodies seem kind of very public, and then we go through something that's somewhat people know you birthed said child, right? And then you're in a recovery period with them too. So sometimes the comments around, oh my gosh, it doesn't even look like you had a baby, or you know, you look so good, or you know, you got a bad, you'll you'll get your body back. That one drives me crazy because your body is still your body.
SPEAKER_05Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It didn't go anywhere. It just has different functionality right now, too. And of course, I don't mean that if you're experiencing like any like pain in your body or any pelvic flora kind of stuff too. Like, by all means, we don't need to live and kind of settle with that. Um, but you know, it your core is going to feel different after you've had a baby. You know, things are going to just look different too. And it you can hold grief for that. I think that's one of the themes that I come up to is, you know, this notion of gratitude that I should be so grateful that I was able to carry my baby and have this baby bring this life into the world. But I'm really still struggling with my body image, right? And I I try to, you know, connect that with clients that you can you can by all means have both. We're not going to shut down the gratitude or, you know, shut down the grief as well. You know, we you can hold space for both of them too. And it's not recommended to ignore, you know, one or the other, right? It's it's almost like this this toxic positivity that kind of comes with, you know, postpartum in the comments that other people say, you know?
SPEAKER_00100%.
SPEAKER_02And I feel like, and I literally just said this to Maggie yesterday, I feel like the conversation of duality has been like a big thing as recently. And I feel like the being grateful as well as the grieving are two huge things that you can have in this season of life. And how do you like how do you support women who feel like they should or they're supposed to be feeling grateful when they're in more of like the grieving process of like I'm my body is no longer mine. Like, how do you help them balance that?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely. Uh, first, I'll just kind of encourage them to do a nice curated clean out with their social media or whatever content they're consuming too. Just to really try to, you know, just as we would with anybody in recovery with needing disorder, right? That if we're leaving a content creator's page or if it's a conversation, even from a loved one too, where you're not feeling super great about it, or there's a lot of comparisons that are coming up to to try to, you know, do our best to mute. Obviously, we can't mute in real life to try to set boundaries as much as we can too. But also I think it's important with postpartum women to just try to explore, you know, where some of the grief is coming from. And if it's related to their bodies, if it's related to maybe some aspects of life too, because this duality also kind of goes with, you know, your life essentially changing. And I say this for new parents and you know, even for those going from like one to two or kind of adding to their families, also, where life just essentially looks different now. We could be grateful for it, but there's parts of our old lives or our old selves that maybe we do miss. So I try to, you know, support that. And if we're feeling like something is lacking in that area, you know, that maybe we come up with a plan on how we can reintegrate. For one, maybe it's travel and that might look different, but maybe with someone with their body image, it's, you know, maybe they are missing movement and they were using movement as a way to kind of help hope, cope, and heal, you know, and get a really good, you know, endorphins workout with it, helping heal their minds. So it's, I think, trying to help support postpartum individuals with just trying to add pieces of their old lives back if they can when appropriate, too. That not everything has to shift because she just became a parent.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Are
GLP-1 Pressure After Pregnancy
SPEAKER_03you, Emily? Are you seeing it all like because I think we can't ignore like the GLP boom in all of this, too? Are you seeing a lot of like the intersection of postpartum and GLP use? Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And I think it's it's so hard to. And that's what I also try to encourage, you know, when I see a client that I'm working with finding or comparing themselves, you know, to somebody online or whoever it may be, is that I don't want a quick jump to assume that they're on a GLP one, but we can also like kind of factor in like, hey, maybe this isn't the most realistic representation of what a postpartum body kind of looks like, right? So it's it could be genetic factors, it could be GLP one use, it could be finances, it could be just different resources, whatever it may be. But I saw it, and Cassandra told me you guys are Bravo people, and I am a Bravo person as well, too. That Kristen from the Valley just had a baby recently, and now she's um a spokesperson for GLP one use. Oh I saw that on the reunion actually, um, like a week or two ago. You know, she Andy said the how are you doing and how are you feeling? You look great. And she said, Thank you. It's my GLP one use. So I think that gets just frustrating too, because it's it's such an easy way out, you know, or or we think it's going to help, and but at the same time it's so wildly used, but then I have to, you know, work with clients on okay, what about the short-term, long-term consequences of this? Or is this necessarily going to help you in ways that we think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's hard. Yeah, it's hard out there.
SPEAKER_02It is just because, like, how because even if we just think about like everything that your body just went through and now it's gonna go through something completely different on the opposite end, like your body is going through a lot in a time where it needs to heal. And the fact that it's so focused on like it needs to look a certain way is because think about that, right? Like, we are putting aesthetic over healing. Yeah, and that's not great. That's so counterintuitive. And you can't even be on a GLP one if you're trying to get pregnant. So, like, why would you like what is then the purpose of like I guess it's the yo yo? Obviously, of like what you're what's happening to your body. But then it's also like, I can't imagine like medically and mentally of like, I'm on this GLP, then I'm gonna get off of it, and I have to plan when to get off of it, to then be able to conceive. Like, I just feel like that's so much planning and doing that, like doesn't need to happen in such a time where like you just brought this beautiful human into this world and like put the mental there, especially if you're breastfeeding too.
SPEAKER_04You know, that's you know, more calories that are needed for you to feed your baby. And I I can't imagine, I don't know the steps, but you can't be on a GLP one while you're breastfeeding, correct? I I don't think you can. I don't think you can either. But then you're right, it's just it's all of this stress that you're putting not only on yourself but your body. And then for if you're planning to expand your family in what however many years anyway, it's it kind of just goes back to that. We can't assume you know, someone in a smaller body is necessarily healthy and kind of just goes into that like thinness. I'm losing my train of thought. What's the word I'm thinking of with thinness? We put an emphasis on thinness, like an ideal. The ideal, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03I think just what's so interesting, you said the word healing a bunch of times. And I feel like I don't understand why we don't view birth like this, but we don't really view it like a medical procedure or like a surgical procedure, the way other medical procedures and surgical procedures are viewed, where it's like, of course, because you use the word recovery too. It's like, of course there's a healing period, of course there's a recovery time, but I feel like it's not viewed in that same way, the way if somebody has another surgery going on where it's like, yeah, of course they've had a knee replacement done, and now they're going to be, you know, in this recovery period for a couple months or whatever it is, and like we're gonna see, you know, what that experience is like for them. I just it's so interesting how it's not it's not viewed in that way.
SPEAKER_02No, not at all. Like there's certain surgery women will always compare that like certain individuals receive, and it's like they can like automatically have like a multiple week recovery time for theirs, but we have to like beg and plead for maternity leave. Yeah. And some states don't have a medical uh like Jersey. I know they have like state funded, so to speak, maternity leave. Some states don't, so like some people might if their job doesn't offer maternity leave, like some states and some women just don't get it. It's so hard, yeah. Boggles my mind. Like, I don't like you what you go through, and I would do it 17 more times, genuinely. And I wouldn't say I had like a wild pregnancy, but my pregnancy wasn't easy by any means either. And I would do it so many times, but like you go through so like your body is in constant pain, in constant transition. It was beautiful. Everybody that wants to get pregnant, please do it. Because I know I always make it sound like it was horrific, and then it's not gonna work, but like every time we talk about it, I always see Maggie's eyes go like a deer in headlights. I'm like, Mags, it's great. I promise you, don't worry about it. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04It's a really cool science experiment. That's how I like to think about it.
SPEAKER_01And Maggie, you love science, but also right.
SPEAKER_04A woman and STEM.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we do we do love and respect a woman and STEM, yes.
SPEAKER_02Do we do? But it's just like, and and I agree with you, Maggie, and I'm so glad that you pointed that out because it it is sad that like we don't treat a woman's body that is going through pregnancy and all, like, we don't give it the same respect that other things, especially women that go through a c-section, yeah. Like you're not allowed to like bend at the knees or lift, like that's something I always think about too, is that like women who go through C-sections aren't allowed to lift anything for a while. And like you like, so like even that, right? We'll bring this around. Like, how do you even for women that are struggling like C-section-wise, of like, can I even hold my baby? Like, what am I even able to do? Because like medically, I can't, you know, I'm not allowed to do certain things. Like, how does that affect them mentally? And like, how does that then play into all of it? Oh my gosh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04There's so much guilt that kind of comes around. It's the guilt and shame spirals that are added to the fuel of fire with all the postpartum, right? And the shoulds. And you know, I have to encourage clients. My favorite thing to say that we're not shedding on ourselves. Oh my god, jeans. I say you say that too. Oh my gosh, we love it. That we don't need to add all these sheds into the party, right? That you're going to be able to do this. It's going to be okay. You really need to prioritize yourself, just like you need to put your oxygen mask on in an airplane before you put on others, too. It is so, so, so important when you are in your postpartum recovery. And that might look like you need more sleep. You might need, and I I understand too, not everybody's support systems are different, or you know, everybody has what they need, but we have to really try our best to advocate for ourselves in with our partners or with support systems, and really just try to really prioritize our healing at the same time as we are caring for a small child.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We actually we had a
Coping With Real Body Changes
SPEAKER_03listener question come in for you too. So kind of on this topic, but really about like how can people cope when there are legitimate body changes that happen post-partum? Like you mentioned core strength earlier as an example, or no, we were talking about C-sections and like C-section scars is something that like people have brought up specifically. But like when there are truly like legitimate body changes and like my body has changed, and you know, like I'm experiencing it differently. Others around me might be experiencing or perceiving it differently. Like, really, how do we cope with those aspects of it?
SPEAKER_04It's the good old body neutrality that is not every client's favorite thing, but it is so, so, so helpful with reframing, you know, some of these thoughts around our bodies, especially while there's like changes like physically going on in the postpartum period and during pregnancy, even too, right? Is that we want to really ask what our body needs versus how do what does our body feel or what our body looks like, rather, you know, and we have to really kind of dig in tune with that. So I'll encourage with clients just trying to do some light gentle stretching or whatever they feel like they can, if that's going to help their bodies and you know, not turn into any disordered activities. It might be something simple, like going on a session with a client and helping them look at clothes, if that's what we have to do, and really trying to process if that's going to be a size change, you know, the functionality behind that size change. It has nothing to do with you. It is you are deserving to have clothes that fit you at this stage of life and that are comfortable for you because your comfort is so, so, so important. We want to be cozy while we're going through all of this too. And if we have to hide clothes that maybe we are not using at this time, that is also totally okay too. So when those things are happening, we try to eliminate reminders that we need to have this bounce back kind of expectation on ourselves. You know, another thing I was thinking of when we were all chatting is just that, you know, with the changes that go on with our bodies, I try to help clients really try to, I guess, not feel like their body needs to be another thing on their to-do list, right? Because especially if you're a new parent, you're you're learn, you're learning how to take care of a baby with any parent at whatever, however many children you have, you're learnt, you're learning your baby, essentially, what they like, what they don't like, all of these different things. There's probably a lot of stuff that you need to do. You need to take in the doctor's appointments, you need to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Your body does not need to be changing your body, I should say, does not need to be another thing on that to-do list for you to do. So I think letting go of that is what has been helpful, you know, for some clients too. Just that self-care is going to look different.
SPEAKER_02I love the way you worded that in that changing your body doesn't have to be on your to-do list, right? Because it doesn't need to be like a box that you check off. Like, and again, I feel like that goes to the thought process of like your body just did, like your body needs to heal. And how do we give ourselves the space of like allowing for that to happen?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Because if like and that's that's one of it. Yeah, one of the things.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because it's just like you have so many different things to focus. And like if your baby isn't a good sleeper, and you're gonna attempt to figure out when can I fit in movement when like there's all of these different things that you have to figure out if your baby isn't sleeping, like we can just be. Body doesn't need to be the focus. Get your baby to sleep.
SPEAKER_04Yes, get your baby to sleep. And then if you want movement in any way and are looking to get out of the house, big advocate for a stroller walk, go out, you know, whatever you need to do. It's it's just going to things are going to look different with our physical appearance and just with life, too. And this is some of the tough love I give is that we have to pivot, you know, it it's going to be okay. Some of this stuff is not going to be forever, too. Just some aspects of life are going to look different and we can dwell in it, or we can kind of take charge. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I can't think of the word pivot without thinking of that friend scene. But I got it.
SPEAKER_01Pivot. Pivot.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. Yeah. No, the one thing I
Social Media That Helps Not Hurts
SPEAKER_03wanted to add too, I feel like, because obviously I know we talked about social media a little bit before. And as we know, with anything that comes to eating disorders and health and nutrition and postpartum and all of that, like there's a lot of not great stuff out there to be looking at. But I also want to acknowledge, like, there is, you know, there are some really great accounts, and there are, you know, some people that can be super helpful. And like there's one content creator that I know Jess and I follow, and like she has twin boys, and she like we'll post pictures of herself like at the beach with her boys are reels, where like she is, you know, in a two-piece bathing suit and like her scar is out and she like acknowledges it. And like I have read through the comments, and it like it is really cool to see people being like so supportive of each other and like this is amazing, or people even being like, Wow, like I wish I could do this, and like you're inspiring this and you're helping to give me that confidence and all of that too. So I feel like there is like there is good stuff out there, it's just unfortunately like sifting through a lot of not so good stuff because that just seems to be the be the norm.
SPEAKER_04Absolutely. And I always see a real kind of real or like some kind of post along this line, these lines, too, where they're saying do it for you know your kids. Your kids are not going to care about how you look, what you look like. They're going to remember that mom is playing with you at the beach, or they're going to remember that, you know, mom wore a two-piece bathing suit, or mom just exuded all of the these comp this confidence, essentially. So use that as some external motivation, I would say to clients or anyone just struggling with some of the physical changes postpartum, too.
SPEAKER_02100%. Because clients come in all the time and they're like, I remember my mom saying this about her body when I was little. I remember my mom being this way with food when I was little. I write like kids are sponges. Yeah. And so if you're gonna give them something to remember, give them a space where they're gonna be able to say nothing about a body, if just like, oh mom, remember when we played in the sand? Or like I remember my mom was always like building the sand castle, or she was in the waves with us. Like, if you make something not about the body, it doesn't have to be.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And that's the, you know, what I'd love to tie in with body neutrality too, is that, you know, our bodies are have so many other functions, right? Of, you know, we have our arms to, you know, kind of like hug our babies or, you know, really play with them, or our legs to run around, like you could really tie it in so nicely. And I I know it's harder when they're infants, but I I think there's still ways to really tie in body neutrality and functionality, really, with a child of all ages.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. Absolutely. Now, if anybody's listening
What Support People Should Say
SPEAKER_03who is like a partner, support person, family member, friend, and they have somebody in their life who's postpartum. I know we've talked a little bit earlier about like not so helpful comments, but what are some things that maybe people can say? Like what could be supportive things to say when you are seeing somebody who's postpartum and you know, like these topics might be coming up.
SPEAKER_04I think just take it away from anything about the body. Really check in on how they're doing, but make it kind of specific. You know, just show them that they're you're proud of them for handling this transition, right? That they're doing such a good job with late night feedings or just essentially adjusting with going back to work or whatever it may be, caring for a child, incorporating your dog into your child's life, which is a very real thing. Um, all these different things. Like, so I think really focus it on that and how they're doing and show that you're proud and express that is a really good one. And then also making sure that your partner's, I think, nourished too. So whether that's helping with meal prep or helping with groceries, sometimes just don't want to think about food, or it's the last thing that comes to mind, honestly, when you're so busy sometimes. So just making sure that there's meals and snacks around, that is probably one of the best things. I was so lucky that I had not only my partner, but my my support system kind of help out with just dropping dinner off. It was amazing. Just so you don't have to think about it and that you have all your nutrients.
SPEAKER_02One of my favorite things that happened when it comes to like food and support people was the amount of DoorDash gift cards that we got. Yes. Those top tier. If you ever want to know what to bring to a baby shower, bring a DoorDash gift card. Or like if you just want to send it via email or a text message, because like you don't know what each minute, let alone like what each meal is going to be like. So remembering of like, oh my God, we have 50 whatever dollars in the DoorDash account, like it takes the mind off of it. It is so nice. But then obviously finances, right? When you bring it in, you're like, we don't want to spend that much. Like, if it's a very thoughtful, it is a very easy. If you don't like to cook, like the moms don't want to be cooking either while they're postpartum. Great gift.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, gosh, absolutely. I remember seeing on TikTok or Instagram, probably both, of just these women who would, and more power to them. I give them so much credit, making these freezer sashes of all of these meals, of just everything that they could have postpartum. And then on one hand, that's really wonderful and really resourceful. I, on the other hand, was exhausted in my last month or so of pregnancy. It is hard to move. So I give them so much credit for doing that. But then sometimes, you know, you don't know what you're in the mood for. You know, your hormones are all over the place, your mind's changing, you know. You might just want a comfort meal, and that's okay if it's not what you have in your freezer. So, you know, allow for the open-mindedness of DoorDash. I'm a big advocate for that too. It's a last-minute game time decision, but you're you're getting dinner, you're getting a meal. It's fine.
SPEAKER_00100%.
SPEAKER_03DoorDash, if you want to sponsor us, you can.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, please send us some merch too. DoorDash and McDonald's and Duncan. At any point in time, I am ready for this collaboration.
SPEAKER_03Our DMs are open and always.
SPEAKER_04Oh God, I love it. Starbucks or coffee gift cards, I will say, are also very nice. Or if you're coming to visit, if you're coming to visit the baby, bring the coffee or you know, bring something for the for the parents because they are tired.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. My sister would drop off bagels and dunk in. And I was like the best thing that I would just like wake up and it would just be like outside the door, and then I would do skin to skin with Christopher with like a bagel in one hand and a coffee in the other. I was like, wow, that's great. I accept this all day long.
SPEAKER_00I loved it.
SPEAKER_01Uh, I want a baby. You have a baby. Yeah, but I want a new one. Don't tell your current baby that. I use the lemon.
SPEAKER_00Speaking of which, uh, I just love a newborn.
SPEAKER_04They're just so eat I love yeah, when they're able to not move and just snug so sweet. Yeah. We're in like a crawling standing up and sitting up in the crib. Um they what they don't teach you about, they actually don't, you know, do anything. They don't teach them do anything. But what you don't realize, or I guess parents don't really talk about is that when babies learn new skills, they're up in the middle of the night partying and practicing them.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04And you think you have a baby who sleeps great. And and they do I was very lucky, knock on wood that my son is generally a pretty good sleeper. But oh my god, all bets are off when started crawling and standing up. We're up at two in the morning, learning our rolling around, having a party. He's he's happy, he's thrilled, but clapping his hands. But I'm like, go to sleep. And it's like so cute seeing on the monitor, too.
SPEAKER_01But I'm just like, but it's like you need to sleep, please. Go to sleep. You could do this in the morning. Like you sleep a few more hours, and you can do this all day long without a brain. Like you're good.
SPEAKER_04He gets so much practice, yeah. But they do something about them in the middle of the night. It's these really real sleep disturbances that happen.
SPEAKER_02You know, we Christopher's been a gem of just sleeping, but crawling up a staircase is his new favorite thing.
SPEAKER_01Oh gosh.
SPEAKER_02You're getting the gate. But yeah, no, it's it's a lot.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I love them.
SPEAKER_01I love them. They're so cute. Oh, I know I can't get enough.
SPEAKER_02Is there anything else that you feel like has been like monumental in your work with women postpartum that you feel like is really important that like you want to be able to like get out and talk about today that we haven't already said? Putting you on the hot seat.
SPEAKER_01Yes, that's a hot seat.
Identity Shift Beyond Being A Parent
SPEAKER_04I think to just put out there that being a mom or becoming a parent, I should say. Becoming a parent, because this applies to folks who didn't birth a child as well, too. There's such an identity shift that comes with it, but it is not the only, you know, thing that is important in one's life too. So if you are a support person to someone who recently just became a parent, don't assume that they don't want to hang out with you just because they had a baby or that they don't want to do the same things that they normally do because you know they just had a baby too. That I think encouraging and inviting and still making an effort with those who just had a baby are are still very important. And it's like, oh well, she's not gonna come anyway, she just had a baby. But I will tell you, it means so much too um to a postpartum person that someone is still thinking of them. And that, you know, hey, there's still life. We're still or she's still just a girl, you know. That's what it I always think about too. Is that hey, there's you can you could be a mom and you could still be a you know, still be a girl, I think is what I'm getting at.
SPEAKER_02No, absolutely. I always see these things online that it's like I'm realizing now that my mom what did it say? I'm gonna butcher it, but it's something along the lines of like a daughter saying, like, I just realized that this is my mom's first life, too. It's like so true that like it's so true. You don't like everyone is just a person, everyone is just learning. I'm gonna cry, so I'm gonna stop. It's mom, yeah.
SPEAKER_01It's we're all just figuring it out.
SPEAKER_03Did you show your mom that? I feel like she'd also cry.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, yeah, my mom and I are like the worst. Our Instagram messages are just things about like your daughter becoming mom, or like your mom is like your best friend watching you, and I'm like, we just cry all day long. Send each other like the saddest, most sappy stuff, which like I'm so happy, like it makes my heart so happy. But I'm like, mom, I need you to send me like something about a serial killer or something about a dog. Like, I need something else that's gonna make me like laugh, or my psych brain is gonna like I need something that's not gonna laugh.
SPEAKER_03Just as mom was an eating disorder dietitian, so we like want to get Her on the podcast, so bad, but I'm like, these two are just gonna be crying. We're never gonna be able to get through an episode.
SPEAKER_02You said your mom's a dietitian. So she used so my mom, we were very, very blessed. My mom's a stay-at-home mom of four, like as long as my older sister was born. But she was a dietitian in New York City as like the eating disorder dietitian. She liked made the menu, ran the kitchen, like did the kidding. That's so cool. But it was so funny because I never knew that going into like me becoming a needle supported therapist. And then one day she's like, Oh, I remember when I did that.
SPEAKER_01And I was like, pause one more time. What did you do?
SPEAKER_00That is. She'd be like, Oh, me? No.
SPEAKER_01She'd be a who. She would be a who. Yeah, that'd be fun.
SPEAKER_04That is really cool.
SPEAKER_00I love that.
SPEAKER_04But yeah, it's it's just I think to hone in on is encouraging the folks who just had a baby too to really try to do some identity and soul searching because and try to still find aspects of your old self because they didn't go anywhere, they're still here, and you can do both. Again, the I feel like the theme of this uh podcast is not just postpartum, but the duality of it too, is that you can be a mom and you can still, you know, have your work life, your friend's life, your you know, your hobbies, all of those different things. So that's what I really try to encourage.
SPEAKER_02You know, and your body doesn't have to affect or like stop you from doing all the things, your body has changed, but you are still you. We're still you still do all the things. I absolutely agree. I agree. This mom still wants to go out and dance just because she has absolutely this mom's going on a bachelorette party this this weekend.
SPEAKER_04Oh it will be fun.
SPEAKER_02100%.
SPEAKER_04I'll be exhausted, but I'm gonna be exhausted either way. That's that's what I what are the challenge, the things I challenge. If somebody's like, I don't want to do something, I'm just gonna be so tired. It's like you're gonna be tired at home anyway.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, go do something fun.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's always that like dread, and then you go and then you're fine. Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01I agree.
SPEAKER_04It's such a common theme.
SPEAKER_03What
Postpartum Snacks And Favorite Meals
SPEAKER_03was both of your favorite postpartum like meal snack? I'm like bringing a throwback to season one. We used to ask people their favorite snacks. So, like, what would be your favorite postpartum?
SPEAKER_02I mean, I have to think about, but snack for sure was Oreos. I like Oreo should have sponsored my postpartum. You know, I was gonna say, yeah, I eat so many Oreos.
SPEAKER_04Oreos, yeah. I uh I had someone very generously uh get me a box of living cookies. My gosh, they're delicious. I love, I think those that's like my top, like my favorite sweet snack. It's just a really good chocolate chip cookie, really nice medium rare one. I believe the best chocolate chip cookie. Oh, I believe it. Her stuff always looks so good. And salty, I just love I love chips and dip. I think that's not even postpartum, just my favorite snack too, or like a good comfort snack for me is chips and an onion dip from the Lipton powder. That's like a dollar. You know that one that's always there. So nostalgic for me, too. I feel like it's at every family party that I have.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I feel like meals are hard because I was restricted because of my dare my son's dairy allergy.
SPEAKER_06Oh that's hard.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I can't remember. I don't know what I really like enjoying chicken chicken wraps, like a grill of a good grilled chicken wrap with a lot of bacon and a lot of mayo. Yeah. Fries. I love putting fries in my chicken wraps. That was really, really stellar, too.
SPEAKER_04I'd say that in Oreos. Yeah. It was lasagna for me. That was such a nice meal that people would bring because it's just so easy to heat up. It's just a lasagna. And then uh my cousin actually made a delicious postpartum meal for me too. And it was called, it was like a Mexican lasagna, essentially. So instead of the pasta, the pasta, it was a tortilla, and then it was kind of like almost like layered quesadillas, where it was like the ground beef and the uh shredded cheese, the beans, and then it was delicious. I love Mexican food. I could I think I could eat Mexican food every single day. So you're good. Yeah, I I think I have the TikTok of it. It I'll send it over to you. But it's so easy too, because then you could just pop it in any kind of sheet pan or just pop in the oven kind of meals are good. And then I also I had my son in end of October. So it was just getting chillier and you know, needed some like good warm meals from the oven.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. Yeah, it's really good. Awesome. Go ahead. Were you gonna say something?
SPEAKER_01No, I was saying yum.
SPEAKER_04Oh yes. I will say I did start eating, I did, and I always liked steak, but I when I was pregnant, I think I think I was anemic, honestly. I I started like craving steak. And now I didn't really have it like when I was postpartum. I think just because it was winter and we weren't grilling as much. Um, but now I just I love I love a good steak, good New York strip.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yum.
SPEAKER_04And I oh my gosh, delicious. Oh, I just good, good skirt steak. I I just yeah, I I was more of like a chicken seafood kind of girl, but I feel like I'm really leaning into thieves lately.
SPEAKER_01Change can be a good thing.
Where To Find Emily And Closing
SPEAKER_01So very much.
SPEAKER_03Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being here. This is so fun to get to see you and like talk to you for so long. And we appreciate everything that you shared and all your time. Where can people find you if they want to get connected with you?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, absolutely. So I am on Instagram. Um Empathy with Emily is my handle. I'm I'm revamping it since coming back for my maternity leave. So I'm posting just a lot of fun things on there. It's really been a fun creative outlet for me. I'm also at Healing on Hudson, which is Hope Oaken based. I am currently seeing clients virtually so that we can be uh connected through there as well.
SPEAKER_03Awesome. Yeah, and well, when we when we post this episode, we'll post our our our first healing on Hudson episode too, because now we have our second Healing on Hudson episode.
SPEAKER_04Yes, that's right. Yeah, she was with you guys last, was it last season? Last year. Oh my gosh, it was with 2023.
SPEAKER_03Years ago, yeah.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say I I connected you guys or I match, I feel like I matchmake, I was matchmaking that.
SPEAKER_03Yes, yes, you did. Thank you. But yeah, oh my gosh, it feels like it was so long ago.
SPEAKER_04I know, yeah.
SPEAKER_03So, Cassandra, we want you back. I want you back on again.
SPEAKER_04I know, I would join again with her too. We can chat all four of us, that'd be fun. Yeah, long to be with a good time.
SPEAKER_01That's not such a good one.
SPEAKER_03I'm in. Yeah, awesome. All right, well, thank you so much. If anybody has any questions for Emily or you want to get connected with her, we will post her, we'll tag her and like post her Instagram and everything as well. Thanks everybody for listening.
SPEAKER_05And we'll catch you on the next one. Bye.
SPEAKER_02Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Nourish and Empower Podcast.
SPEAKER_03We hope this episode helped you redefine, reclaim, and restore what health means to you.
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