Is It Ever Okay To Comment On Someone's Body?

A single comment about someone’s body can feel harmless, even caring, until you zoom out and see what it reinforces: diet culture, comparison, and the idea that our bodies are public property. We sit with the discomfort of recent online discourse around Ariana Grande and ask the question people keep dodging: is it ever appropriate to comment on someone’s body, even when it comes from concern?

We break down why you cannot diagnose an eating disorder or “health” from appearance alone, and how speculation can backfire by pushing people into shame or silence. We also talk about influence beyond celebrity. Parents, aunts, coaches, teachers, friends, and partners shape body image every day, often without meaning to. So we look at practical language swaps that move the conversation from “You look…” to “How are you feeling?” and we unpack the messy reality that two things can be true at once: body comments can be harmful, and some people are still hoping someone will notice they are struggling.

Along the way, we name the return of thinness culture, the algorithm’s copy-paste beauty standards, and the ripple effects of GLP-1 weight loss chatter on mental health and eating disorder recovery. If you feel triggered by what you’re seeing online, we also remind you that protecting your peace is part of healing, and you can curate what reaches you.

Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a new way to talk about bodies, and leave a rating and review so more people can find these conversations. What do you think the boundary should be?

Show notes:

Trigger warning: this show is not medical, nutrition, or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a Registered Dietitian, Licensed Mental Health Provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider, as well as crisis resources, in the show notes. Listener discretion is advised.

Resource links:

Hilltop Behavioral Health: https://hilltopbehavioralhealth.com/ 

Alliance for Eating Disorders: https://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com/ 

ANAD: https://anad.org/

NEDA: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

NAMI: https://nami.org/home

Action Alliance: https://theactionalliance.org/

NIH: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/

How to find a provider: 

https://map.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

https://www.healthprofs.com/us/nutritionists-dietitians?tr=Hdr_Brand

Suicide & crisis awareness hotline: call 988 (available 24/7)

Eating Disorder hotline: call or text 800-931-2237 (Phone line is available Monday-Thursday 11 am-9 pm ET and Friday 11 am-5 pm ET; text line is available Monday-Thursday 3-6 pm ET and Friday 1-5 pm ET)

If you are experiencing a psychiatric or medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

Transcript

Welcome And Sponsor Message

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Join us as we redefine, reclaim, and restore the true meaning of health.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Let's dive into the tough conversations about mental health, nutrition, eating disorders, diet culture, and body image. This is Nourish and Empower. This episode is brought to you by Hilltop Behavioral Health, specializing in eating disorder treatment. Hilltop offers integrated therapy and nutrition care in one compassionate setting.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Visit www.hilltopbehavioralhealth.com because healing happens here.

When Body Concern Becomes Scrutiny

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Hi, everybody. Welcome to this week's episode. Today we are going to be talking a little bit about the impact of public body scrutiny and if it's ever appropriate to comment on somebody's body, even if that's coming from a place of concern. There's been a lot of discord on these topics this past week, specifically with Ariana Grande. So if you've been on Instagram or TikTok, you probably have seen something about it. So we thought it could be helpful to talk a little bit more about it. But just trigger warning before we get started, we are identifying the following triggers that will be discussed but are not limited to eating disorders, mental health, body image, listener discretion is advised. This show is not medical nutrition or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a registered dietitian, licensed mental health provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider as well as crisis resources in the show notes.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

It's like a jingle at this point for me and you.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Yeah, it is like a like a jingle.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

I can't. Yeah, no, I'm very excited for this topic. I feel like I feel like it is hard when you think about because I know you and I were talking about this on Monday, but but I feel like it is so hard because you could voice that regardless of what the body looks like, you're voicing concern on someone's health, right? I think there's this, especially with like the body positive movement, I feel like there's this stigma of like, well, just because somebody lives in a larger body, you don't know if they do or they don't live in a healthy body. Whereas like I feel like when someone is living in a smaller body, some people are like, well, it's easier to tell if they're unhealthy or like sick or not. And so I feel like that's where a lot of the is dichotomy the right word, the right word there. Like I feel like the I have no idea. Big words sometimes are hard for me. I have no idea. But like there's like it's not like I just feel like sometimes people will argue of like Ariana Grande's Ariana Grande's body, right? Like there's concern, there's room for concern, especially after her Leah's petal music video and the way that she's moving. It's evident that there's regardless of the reason, it seems like there is concern, right? And I feel like there's just it is hard to know is it positive to voice concern? Because we also don't want to like ignore signs and then have it seem like okay, we can't ever say, Wow, you just did that to your hair, and it looks great.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Love of who Maggie Is it ever okay to comment on someone's appearance?

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Oh my god, yeah, literally. I'll look, I'm like the worst person ever. Every single time someone comes onto this podcast, too. As soon as I see them, I'm like, there's a compliment in here, and I just have to give it and like probably, and but I always ask permission before I do. I always say something positive or give you a compliment.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

But oh my god, I didn't know your hair just looked so good.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Wow, you got bro, but yeah, is it appropriate to comment on someone's appearance? Jessica always says, sure if it's a compliment. I yeah, I just feel like I feel like it's it's tricky, right? I feel in either direction someone could make the argument. I'm identifying I'm saying something because I'm concerned. On either side, you don't actually know if there's something to be concerned about, right? Like even me saying this about Ariana Grande's body body, maybe there isn't anything to be concerned about. Right? But yeah, also I think it's hard to, in the sense, like I was just saying too, before I got so distracted by your beauty, that there's you also are playing with fire a little bit in regards to like if we don't say something, are we allowing illness, eating disorders, struggle to go under the radar when we are trying so hard to have these things be a point of conversation? And I I yeah, I just think it's it's hard to really know what to do and what not to do because there's so many caveats that make it appropriate or inappropriate.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. No, it's such it's such a tough

Why Looks Are Not A Diagnosis

SPEAKER_00 5:34

topic. It it really, really is. And you know, I think like one point that I I definitely want to make, like really clear before we even start, like, really, really jump into this topic is that like you cannot diagnose somebody just by appearance alone. And so I feel like there's a lot of speculation, and I've even seen some providers like online like putting commentary about like, you know, okay, like the she has an eating disorder. And it's like there's so much, you know, diagnostic criteria, and we can't diagnose somebody just on the way that their body looks or appears. So like I want to make that super, super clear. Um, and I think there's also kind of an added layer with all of this of like when somebody, not just only in the public eye, because obviously this specific example is like magnified due to like the celebrity status, but I don't even want to talk about it like specifically in the public eye. I think it's more about when you're in an influential position, because you can be in an influential position. Like, I don't know, for example, like you have nieces, like you, as their aunt, are in an influential position at times in their life when it comes to the way that they may feel about their body or what they perceive based on other, you know, figures in their life. So, like there are so many times where I think more in like the day-to-day, people are in influential positions where, you know, they can have an impact on how somebody else may feel about their body. And I mean, that's a whole other kind of really nuanced topic of like, well, are we responsible for how other people feel or not feel? But when you are in an influential position, like people are going to be influenced. And like, you know, especially younger people may be influenced by some of what they're seeing right now.

SPEAKER_02 7:20

And I agree. And I like, as the therapist of the group, right? Like, are we responsible for other people's feelings? No, we're not. Point blank, period, right? Like, we're not responsible for them. Are there instances where we know that what we say can be just like you said, that like what we say can be influential towards somebody else, right? So, like, I know with my nieces, and I mean, they're a little young right now, but even like my cousin's kids, I know I'm never, even if I'm having a bad body image day, I'm never going to sit there and talk negatively about my body in front of them. Because even though I'm not responsible for their emotions, I can still be aware. You know what I mean? Like I can still be cognizant of how words, especially at certain ages, they're like sponges. Right. And so am I saying like I'm responsible for their development? No. Am I saying I'm responsible for how they're going to view their own body? No. And I'm not, I personally do not want to ever be a part of why they might develop something, of why they might not think a certain way. So am I responsible for it? No. But I'm also just gonna be like aware, right? Like that's even like our jobs, like we're not responsible for people's recovery. But we assist in a way that we think is the best way to provide. But I feel like if that's like even a way to think about things too, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No, I think that's no, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 8:55

I think it's a really good point of like not responsible, but like the level of awareness and right, the level of understanding when you do have influence over other people and like you are in an influential position. Yeah. Cause I feel like I've seen so much online the past couple of days about all of this and like so many different perspectives and different takes. And I've seen people even doing polls of like, do you ever think it's okay to comment on somebody's body, you know, if it comes from a place of concern? And like people are really split, like they don't really know what to do. And so we get it. Yeah.

Thinness Culture And Copy-Paste Beauty

SPEAKER_00 9:29

And I also think, too, you know, there's plenty of people right now who are probably feeling really triggered and really activated, seeing, you know, seeing not just this specific example online, but just overall seeing the like thinness culture that we saw back in like the 90s and early 2000s, like totally coming back and you know, seeing like so many different effects of of all of that, and just like the ripple effects of like not just the GLP one stuff, but also like that in addition to so many influential people, you know, kind of in this body trend again of like being in really, really small bodies.

SPEAKER_02 10:13

Yeah. I love so many things from the 90s and the early 2000s. This was one thing I never wanted to resurface ever. Just because it's like I don't, I just don't understand how we are so obsessed with thin. Like, I I don't understand the obsession. And maybe it's because like me personally, I've never lived in a like a smaller body. Like I wouldn't say I'm in a bigger body, but I'm like medium. And I just don't know. I don't maybe because I've just never that I don't get the obsession. Like how people are probably like, why are you obsessed with having a big butt? I don't know, because great, look at this thing. Like, I don't know, it's phenomenal. So maybe I just don't get the thing, but like I don't understand how as a culture we like cannot get it out of our heads. It's like as a culture, we're so addicted to it, and like we're so aware of seeing addiction throughout everybody individually, but like when are we going to recognize like our culture is an addict and just like figure it out?

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Yeah, yeah, like it don't yeah, no, it's so interesting, and I feel like not just even the thinness aspects of it, but like there's so many kind of beauty and like body-related trends out there where it's not it's not just the thinness, but it's also it feels like people are all morphing into like the exact same like mold, you know what I mean? Where it's like the hair is the same and the yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

Matthew would love to get our manager, Matt would love to get in on this conversation because he points it out all the time. He's like, Do you ever notice how like especially the younger generations? He's like, Everyone dresses the same. He was like, There is no individuality, like nobody, he's like, I don't understand. He's like, like this group of guys, everyone's wearing the same outfit, whether it's like shorts, backwards, hat, shirt, whatever, and girls are always like in like a white tank top and a jeans, and it's like the exact same color, the exact and he's and it's like there is no individuality anymore.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Why? I don't even think it's just younger people. Like I watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and I feel like even just like there's a certain, there's a certain like look, right? Where it's just like this, the hair, even right, like let's say somebody's hair. It's just like it's very classic where you can like pick up on that, where you're like, okay, I know that those are clearly extensions, but like there's also that piece where you're like, oh, look how nice that long hair is, right? Even though you know that it's still extensions, but it's like there is that kind of same like structure and like mold over and over. It just feels like it's like copy paste, copy, paste, copy, paste.

SPEAKER_02 12:55

Well, it's so funny you say that because as soon as you said their hair, I went, Oh, it's beautiful. It's true. Like, and do I understand that there can be be like you can love something and find it beautiful and want to emulate it? Yeah, but it's like, what is the depths of that emulation that it then becomes like I have to become like I am not good enough, or I have to just absolutely morph into. And I think that's where we have to draw the line. Like, if you think certain things are beautiful, it doesn't mean don't. And I know this can be a slippery slope because people are gonna be like, well, that's why I go to the gym because I find this body type beautiful, blah, blah, blah. And like, I get it. And it doesn't like why you have to go to the extreme of like losing yourself. I don't know. I don't know. And like, and you know, and I always find it interesting too because so many people today, I feel like, are fighting for you to be unique. But there's still like even in the desire for uniqueness, there's still so much grasp at everyone has to be the same. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 14:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

It just makes me it just makes me sad because like I think about my nieces and like when they get social media and things like that, and like what are they because even I know we were talking about this literally right before we got on, but it's like even people that used to be influential in the body positivity to a certain degree no longer fit the bill. Yeah, is that also like I I am commenting on a body, right? If we're thinking about Megan Trainor, if we're thinking about who was the other woman you brought up, Mindy Kaling. Like they were women that lived in a different body, it's all about that base, baby. You know what I mean? And what happened, Megan?

SPEAKER_00 15:04

I mean, that was her whole brand.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

Whole brand. And then you flopped, you flip-flopped, but again, like, am I commenting on your body? I am, and again, is it right for me to do so? I don't know, but I'm not commenting more so on the body, like I want to understand why. And is that my business? No, but when you have that as your brand, you have to also understand the questions that are gonna come with it, right?

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Mm-hmm.

unknown 15:33

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

And I mean, I think what'd you say? I just said it's hard. Yeah, mm-hmm.

Shift From Bodies To Feelings

SPEAKER_00 15:40

It is, it is, it's really hard, and I think too, you know, I I saw something that I thought was so interesting about like how would these conversations be different if it was somebody that like we knew personally versus celebrity? And I think that's a really fair point, right? That when it's a celebrity, they feel so removed from us that that leads to like more scrutiny and more conversation. But I also think on like on you know, kind of a day-to-day level, because we've heard this from clients where you know people do comment on their bodies and people are constantly giving comments. So, like, yes, there's a obviously a magnified degree of public scrutiny because there's just so many more people talking about it and the influence and everything, but like this does also happen, you know, in kind of the everyday world. And I feel like, you know, I feel like what's so tricky is so often the comments are like coming from a place of overemphasis on the body rather than over-emphasis on how the person is doing or how the person is feeling. Because, like you just said, you're like, I would want to ask her like what's behind this, right? What's behind this, this, you know, change in brand and like you know, change in in body size. And I feel like so often these conversations come to, you know, the focus feels like it's about somebody's body, which makes them feel defensive and guarded and and even attacked. Whereas what would it be like to just ask somebody like, how are you doing? You know, how are you feeling? Like there's there's ways where there can be a conversation without it being without it feeling maybe like it's solely focused on somebody's appearance and nothing else.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah. And I think appearance is always the easiest thing to like open up a conversation about, right? So, like, does that make it right for it to be about the body? No. And I think if that's the entry, right? Like, I think if someone were to sit down, sit Megan Train up down and be like, okay, like all this happened to your body, what was going on? This, that, and the third, whatever. I think it's just like a door to get to the deeper, right? Just like we do with our clients, you talk about your body, but there's always something deeper, right? Like an eating disorder and the behaviors you engage in are a form of communication, a form of emotional understanding that we don't have words for. So if that's a way that we can open up conversations, unfortunately, it is a

Holding Concern And Harm Together

SPEAKER_02 18:08

way. I think it's just again, like I think too, people get very uncomfortable with duality in the sense of uh and I feel like I experience this like all the time. And I think that's just like my therapist brain of always seeing two sides or like all the different sides to things, where you can be really pissed and really upset and angry. And why are you doing this? And I'm gonna comment about your body, and like Megan Trainer, this or Ariana Grande Dad, da da da. And on the other side of things that can live in the same space, you can experience these things at the same time, of it being like that's really sad. I hope she's okay. This doesn't look like she looks lost. You can tell maybe, like, I know some people, you know, if they're struggling, they'll be like, Well, sometimes I'm looking in the mirror and it's like the lights are on and no one's home, right? So, like, there are different things that you can see and you can be very empathetic while you're also angry. And I think the duality of emotions scares people. And I think it's a very hard concept for people. Your hair today, I really can't. It's beautiful. I'm so sorry. I'm just I can't, Maggie. But, anyways, I just it's very yeah, I think I think the duality of it all is hard too. Because I feel like that's almost what we're talking about, is just how like it's and maybe that's where the thoughts too of like, do we comment on people's bodies or not? Because we're seeing the harm in it and we're seeing the positivity in it. And it's like, what side of the duality do people want to land on? And standing in between the two of them, I think it's I think it's uncomfortable because people like categorization, people like choices, but they want to be in one of the spots, not standing. You know, we had a walk to remember, where he was like, She was like, I want to be in two places at once, and he brought her to like the Mason Dixon line or whatever, and she was like standing on both. That's how people are in this conversation. They're Mandy Moore and what's his name? Shane West, and they're holding hands. He's like, You're in two places at once, and I feel like that's where we are with this conversation. Where do we go, Shane? Take me.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

That's how I feel. No, I mean, it's that's such a good point because it's like right, on one hand, you know bringing up somebody's appearance or like, you know, making a comment about somebody's body, even if it's coming from a you know, a really good place, can be received in a really negative way. And then on the other hand, there can be people who we're waiting for somebody to notice, we're waiting for somebody to ask them if they're okay. We're like, it's almost like a call for help, right? Or cry for help. So it's like, right, like those can exist, like two things can exist at the same time. And obviously, in like this situation, it's like multiple things can exist at the same time. Like people can be triggered, people can be concerned, and also like Ariana Grande has come out with you know, several times like denying that there is anything concerning going on. And so, like, if that like truly is her truth, like who are we to say? Like, we don't know. And so it's like multiple things can can exist at the same time. And you know, she obviously made an announcement this week about like stepping away from the public eye, and a big reason behind it is because of all the scrutiny and the comments and everything, which I don't know what that's like. I imagine that's incredibly hard and difficult, and you know, and also too, it's like this is again, this is like a magnified example, but. Like this is a very real example that a lot of people experience like day to day in their life with friends, with family, with themselves, with whoever it might be. So, like, there is, you know, there is a conversation here.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

A hundred percent. I also too right, like, I know initially when we were talking about this on Monday, one of my reactions, my initial reactions was like, and I can't remember if you said it first or if I said it first, but regardless, of like, I can't believe her team is letting her perform. And like, where is her team in all this? And I feel like when you just said, you know, if if her truth is nothing's wrong, how do we know it's not? And I feel like that just like struck me in the conversation of like uh what is her team doing? And I feel like that's part of uh what's so hard with uh being in the public eye is that no one ever knows the truth, and people feel very entitled to know your truth. And so, like, if the team is trying to protect her, if she's saying, like, you know, I just I want to perform, I want to do the things, like just it doesn't matter what is being said, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, we don't know the conversation she's had with them. It's not our business to know. It's not our, you know, we don't have the the right, the privilege, we're not entitled to the information. But I understand how like how people are questioning, like, what is her team doing? Just like some people are like, how did their parents let them get to this point? Like, we don't know what we don't know, and it's frustrating, but it we also have to like respect it. I don't know if any of that made sense because I feel like I had 16 different thoughts happening at the same time.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

No, it made it make sense, and I think this is just one of those topics where it's like there there is there's so many, you know, kind of different takes on it, and there's so many different avenues to go down. Right. Somebody, you know, like that level of celebrity, it's like, yes, there's a there's to team, there's stylists, there's also like family and friends, and and they also think too, you know, people in the public eye are scrutinized anytime there's anything noticeably different about their appearance, you know, whether it's like a hair color change or you know, a body size change or whatever it might be. So it's like there is that level of like continued scrutiny over and over. That's like unfortunately just become like this kind of like cultural expectation, which is really wild. But like we were talking about, you know, even like you know, celebrities years ago with like that ultra-thin trend. Like that was over 20 years ago, and like this was happening, you know, and like the magazines were the same way, and like the on, I mean, now it's even worse with the social media stuff, but it's like this has been going on for so so long. And even though obviously it's like, okay, are people contributing to the problem by discussing this right now on social media? Like, are we contributing to the problem by discussing this? It's also, I think people are discussing it in a little bit of a different way, of truly trying to be like, how can we navigate this? And how can we be sensitive to the fact of, like you said, like we don't really know what's going on? And you know, we can also be concerned for younger people who might be seeing these images because we know what it was like growing up seeing those images to a much lesser extent.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

100%.

Social Media Triggers And Protecting Recovery

SPEAKER_02 25:36

I feel like it's just new territory because, like you just said, like when we were looking at magazines when we were kids, there wasn't a forum to go to to talk about it, right? Like, yeah, you might talk about it with your friends or you might talk about it with your parents, your teachers, whomever, but there wasn't hundreds of thousands of millions of people that you were talking to about the same topic, right? Like Tumblr was around, Facebook was like just coming around, but I don't really think any of this stuff was really on it. We were all putting our photo albums on there with like wild names of all the things that you did that you shouldn't have been doing that are just on social media, or it was like I don't know, what was the other one? Like Zanga, which was like your personal diary that was on the internet. Like, do you remember Zanga? Was it Zanga? No, I never heard of that.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Oh, hold on. Was it Zanga? I know Tumblr, I've had like heard of Tumblr.

unknown 26:35

Zenga.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

Zanga? I think it was Zenga, yeah. Like, can I be in my oh with an X?

SPEAKER_00 26:46

Zanga. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Popular 2000s web blog and early social networking platform.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Yes, and I and a lot of people would make it like their personal diary. That just like went up on the thing. So, like those were around, but I don't but it was not it was nothing to the extent of what kids have these days. And so I think it's also just like because we're in a time where everything is much more at our fingertips, I think it's also part of the so is this helping or is this hurting? And I think that's I think that's probably why it feels icky because we don't, because we're not going to know the help or the the help or the hurt until years from now. So it's like, do we do something like how do we know without you know, without our crystal ball, where this is gonna go?

SPEAKER_00 27:44

Right. And I also think too for people who yes, you wanna go.

SPEAKER_02 27:50

No, it's it's the same topic, but I was come gonna go in a completely different direction. So you okay.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Um, no, I was gonna say, I also think too, for people who are, you know, in wherever they are in their recovery and healing journey, yeah, and are seeing this and are feeling triggered, like protect your peace, protect your recovery, you know, like there is also that aspect of it too of you can be concerned for somebody's well-being, somebody who, again, like you don't know personally, but maybe you have some kind of connection to you watch them in a TV show growing up, you listen to their music, you've been to their concert, whatever it is, and you can have that concern, and you can also like kind of mute some of that information from getting all the way to you, if it is going to be triggering or if it's something that is going to negatively impact your relationship with food, your body image, you know, your mental health, how you're feeling about yourself. Like both of those things can be true at the same time, too.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

100%.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

100%.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

I also like feel like Ariana Grande, like I feel for her because I feel like her, I feel like she's like the best example that we give to clients all the time of like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Because like I remember when Mac Miller died, people were talking about her body and how it seemed like she gained weight and what's wrong with her, and like why does she look bigger? And then, you know, she's been in the eye since she was like a kid. And so I feel like it's also just how do we even just change the conversation of, I feel like those conversations of like, oh my god, your body change, what's wrong, like the nasty what's wrong with you? And like, oh now you gained weight, you're to this. You're like, I feel like I don't know, I feel like you can you can't tell when someone's making a comment, but I just feel like this poor woman has like never been able to just be. Someone has always had to make a comment about her. And I just feel like that's when I want to be like, okay, enough. See, even in this conversation that we're having, I feel like I'm not even like on a side, like, I don't know. Because I want to say, like, leave her alone, stop talking about her body, but then I'm also like, do we I feel like if we knew her diagnosis, which we are not entitled to, it would be easier. I would feel more comfortable talking about it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Yeah, and I think trying to think how like, oh, she okay, she has this. We can understand that. Why don't we have a bigger picture than it being about like the issue of her and her body?

SPEAKER_00 30:50

Mm-hmm. Yeah, like even how it felt different talking about like Noah Khan after we re like we talked about the documentary, because like the in the documentary it was identified of like body image struggles, binge eating, you know, restriction, all of these things. So I understand that. And I think too, just to go back to the point you were making about like it almost feels like okay, if I'm in a smaller body, that's a problem. If I'm in a larger body, that's a problem. Like there, like people feeling like, okay, I can never win, like there's always something wrong. Like, that is such a relatable feeling. And I have had, you know, so many conversations with people about that, where it's like, okay, well, I felt like I was getting body comments in a larger body. And then I started, you know, doing XYZ, and then I was in a smaller body, and now all of a sudden, like everybody was concerned, and there was all these, you know, like there was all this commentary and how it just feels like for people, like, will will the body comments ever end? Like, will it ever stop? So I think that's a very relatable feeling again. If we want to like bring this back to the everyday person.

SPEAKER_02 31:52

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Boundaries With Adults And Kids

SPEAKER_02 31:54

And even talking about the everyday person, because I know you touched on this before, like everyday people get these questions all the time. And like, so it's it's not, it is a very relatable conversation, and we don't like it. And even like bringing it into that light, we don't like it when it happens to us, but it's why so why is it so easy to do it to somebody else? You know what I mean? Right, like clients all the time, we always talk about how your body isn't the topic for other people, you know. You can shut down, set your boundaries, you know, like people are going to make their comments because unfortunately, this could this uh society always talks about bodies, but like it doesn't have to be the the comp the the topic of conversation if you don't want it to, and I just feel like people always want that, but they don't always provide it either, and I also feel like that's part of the problem.

SPEAKER_00 32:55

Yeah, yeah, no, that's fair. I also think too, this is a whole different topic that we can do a whole different episode on, but even just for how to talk to children and how to talk to kids about not just body image, you know, like in regards to themselves or, you know, but the influence of other people, right? Because also when Wicked came out, which was a movie for kind of like all ages, right? Like there was little kids going to see that, there were adults going to see that, but there was a lot of discourse then as well about several of the the people in Wicked and you know, kind of body changes that were observed throughout that entire filming process, like all the way through all of the press that they were doing.

SPEAKER_03 33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

And so, I mean, it's also an interesting point, too, of being like, how do parents or you know, people really like how can they use this moment to talk to their kids about body image, to talk to their kids about body comments and what you know what all of that can look like?

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Yeah. Yeah, it's just it's just a lot. Like it really is just a lot of I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

I feel like I have so like even me myself, like I have so many conflicting thoughts about it because especially with what we do, I feel like the conversations are important because I think we need to be but again, is it important because there's an assumption of what's wrong with her? And is that why people are feeling like it's important to talk about the body image because they're assuming the reason for the body? Or is it just solely based on to whatever degree of we know that there is a level of health concern?

SPEAKER_01 35:02

But again, can someone sit there then and argue, how do you know?

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. It's tough. It's really tough. I am curious for for people listening too, you know, because we did not kind of take a poll or or ask it all about this before this episode, but curious what other people think. Like, is it ever okay to comment on somebody's body when it is coming, you know, from from a good place, when it's coming from a place of concern and you know, care and checking in? And I wonder what people think and how they have or you know, or have felt hesitant to navigate that.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

Cause even if you put it into like a personal, not even like a global, like do people struggle with that conversation with loved ones who they feel like may look like in either direction of their body changing, like, how do I approach that conversation with them? Right. And you know, I don't think it's I don't think it's easy ever, whether you know, the scale of the relationship. I don't know. This was a stumpy one, Mags. I felt real confident coming into it on Monday.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Let me tell you, we sat down, I was like, Well, I know when you started the episode and you said, Oh, I'm excited for this topic, I was like, really? Because I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 36:32

Let's be honest, I was excited just to come on and chat because I love when we're on. However, yeah, no, I I take it back. I take it back. I wasn't excited, I was excited to see you.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

I was like, I feel like I'm gonna just babble and I don't know what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

That's what I did, but that is my comfort, is just let is just and then which is why half the time I'm like, did that make sense? Because I'll have 16 different thoughts that I then like somehow bring out of my mouth or not, they make sense. They make sense, I think that's because you speak fluent, Jessica. Like if we also look at my our text thread, and anybody in my life can also verify that I don't proofread, so whatever it says, it is yours to have to decode. It is not my job to edit.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Well, I think the funniest thing that you do is you type a lot in all caps, and when you're in all caps, it won't autocorrect things, and so Jessica will literally just send a random string of letters in all caps that makes absolutely no sense at all. And you have to you literally have to like sit there and decode it because because it's in all caps, yes, and I don't assist.

SPEAKER_02 37:54

No, only only if I even think it's really bad, will I go, wow, okay, Jessica? Like that will literally be my text, my next text. I think I just did that to you. Yeah, seven times a week, yeah. Yeah, fair, very fair. Where I will type it so bad, even in lowercase, and I'm like, wow, that was really bad, Jess. That will be my next text, and then I will try and send it in English. But usually it's for you to decode, decipher, and you tell me what did I just say?

SPEAKER_00 38:24

Love it, and for the listener who's wondering my my hair secrets for today, I just washed it. That's all. It was just a hair wash day, and I've done and I brushed it and nothing else because that is the makeup beauty girly that I am. Gee, he looks great. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I'm gonna get getting some some help done next week with these roots. So I mean it's great.

SPEAKER_02 38:49

Where are you right now?

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Blonde.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Yeah, I love blonde, blonde-ish, bronze, blonde mag, blonde mag, she's just chef's kiss, you know what I mean? Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

That's what I'm saying. Like, how deep? I'm gonna, and then I'm gonna stop talking because I can keep ranting. But how deep do these conversations go? Like, do you comment on hair? Do you comment on clothes? Like, what do we comment on? Is there a boundary? Is there not a boundary? Like, what is okay to ever comment on?

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Yeah, I mean, I think that there, I mean, I can obviously only speak for myself, but I feel like there's certain things that like I feel fine with people commenting on, and then there's certain things that I wouldn't feel fine with it. Like I like when people compliment my hair, for example, or I like when people compliment my nails because I put a lot of time into that, you know, and like it's something that I am like really, you know, excited about, but it's tricky because obviously everybody's is different, and I feel like that's where you know boundaries it comes in and is so important for people, and also too, you know, just like having an understanding that there are different levels of conversation that people are comfortable with and not comfortable with, yeah, yeah, it's so hard. Yeah, yeah.

Listener Thoughts And Closing

SPEAKER_00 40:11

Well, thank you everybody for listening. We are we are happy to hear what you think. Please let us know. I'm curious actually, of like what people think because again, there's so much about this topic right now that it feels important to for us to have brought it up, yeah, and you know, to kind of process it along with everybody in the moment, too.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

Yeah, agreed. Because I yeah, so let us know and send us your rants. We clearly spoke in circles, wiggles, squiggles, and spheres all day. So send us all the things, too, of what you feel and why you think it's a hard topic, or maybe it's easy for you. How's it easy for you? I would also love to know that. Like I want to know all the thoughts, all the things.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

Yeah. All right, everybody. Thank you for listening, and we will catch you here next week. Bye.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Nourish and Empower Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

We hope this episode helped you redefine, reclaim, and restore what health means to you.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

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