Nourish & Empower

Pass The Pie And Mind Your Plate: Boundary Setting for the Holidays

• Jessica Coviello & Maggie Lefavor • Season 2 • Episode 3

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The holidays are supposed to feel warm and easy, yet many of us tense up the moment food, body talk, and social pressure enter the room. We break down how to protect your peace with practical tools that actually work: comfort-first clothing to reduce sensory stress, permission-based eating that ends scarcity, and short, clear scripts that shut down plate policing without a scene.

We start by confronting the cultural rush that blends every celebration and heightens anxiety. From there, we share actionable strategies for staying present: pick fabrics and fits that help you focus on people instead of fidgeting, and lean into personal style so you feel grounded before you even walk in the door. Then we reframe holiday foods. When a favorite dish feels like a once-a-year event, urgency takes over. Ask for the recipe, plan a bake-together, and enjoy leftovers to normalize access. Food neutrality grows when you remove the “now or never” pressure.

Boundary-setting takes center stage with internal and external options. Internal boundaries look like calming self-talk, brief exits, and breathing breaks. External boundaries use simple lines that hold firm: “No need to monitor my food—thanks, I’ve got it,” or a light redirect, “It’s delicious, want me to grab you some too?” We pair those with environmental choices that matter: where you sit, the ally by your side, and time limits that keep your nervous system in range. When diet chatter starts, steer the conversation elsewhere or get up to help—your presence is more valuable than arguing with noise.

You deserve a season that feels nourishing and empowering. Press play to learn scripts you can use today, mindset shifts that reduce stress, and logistics that make gatherings kinder. If this conversation helped, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs holiday support, and leave a quick review so others can find these tools.


Trigger warning: this show is not medical, nutrition, or mental health treatment and is not a replacement for meeting with a Registered Dietitian, Licensed Mental Health Provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider, as well as crisis resources, in the show notes. Listener discretion is advised.


Resource links:

ANAD: https://anad.org/

NEDA: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

NAMI: https://nami.org/home

Action Alliance: https://theactionalliance.org/

NIH: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/


How to find a provider: 

https://map.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us

https://www.healthprofs.com/us/nutritionists-dietitians?tr=Hdr_Brand


Suicide & crisis awareness hotline: call 988 (available 24/7)


Eating Disorder hotline: call or text 800-931-2237 (Phone line is available Monday-Thursday 11 am-9 pm ET and Friday 11 am-5 pm ET; text line is available Monday-Thursday 3-6 pm ET and Friday 1-5 pm ET)


If you are experiencing a psychiatric or medical emergency, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.



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SPEAKER_02:

Let's dive into the tough conversations about mental health, nutrition, eating disorders, diet culture, and body image. This is Nourish and Empower. This episode is brought to you by Hilltop Behavioral Health.

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Specializing in eating disorder treatment, Hilltop offers integrated therapy and nutrition care in one compassionate setting.

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Their expert team works with you to achieve recovery and avoid the need for a higher level of care.

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Visit www.hilltopbehavioral health.com because healing happens here.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey guys, it's Jess and Maggie. Today's topic is going to be about setting boundaries and maintaining recovery during the holidays. So trigger warning for today is we will be discussing nutrition, body image, mental health. Listener discretion is advised. This show is not medical nutrition nor mental health treatment, and it's not a replacement for meeting with a registered dietitian, a licensed mental health provider, or any other medical provider. You can find resources for how to find a provider as well as crisis resources in our show notes. Welcome. Hello. How are we today? Chili. How are you? Dude, I think I saw snow and I'm upset about it because it's too early. You won't see snow this winter. How do you feel about that? Genuinely asking.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, there is snow in some parts of North Carolina and South Carolina today. I don't have any. It's nice and sunny, but I've had a bunch of friends texting me, asking if we've gotten snow. It is freezing, though. It's like around 20 degrees, but it's super bright and sunny. So Ollie loves the sun. Ollie's my dog. He loves the sun so much. He was literally sitting out in the backyard staring up at the sun, even though it's 20 degrees out, trying to like warm his soul. I love snow. And I'm just like, I understand. I'm a warm weather person though. So like snow is fine.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But I'd rather have warm weather than snow. So I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, I'm with you. I'd rather summer, spring, summer, and fall. Like I love fall, but it's also because like I love fall things, activities, and I love fall outfits. But I don't like being cold unless I'm in the house. Then I want to be cold so I can be cuddly. But that's the only time I like it.

SPEAKER_00:

See, I like like sweltering heat. I like when it's really, really hot out.

unknown:

Really?

SPEAKER_00:

Like like June, July, August, and the summer. Like really hot. I'm always cold, and I just love the sun and I love being outside. So definitely more of a summer person. You are an outdoors girly. Yeah. Yeah. Me and Ollie are always sitting outside.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that.

SPEAKER_00:

What cutie pies.

SPEAKER_02:

So he is going to love having all these holidays outside.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean, that's the that's the goal. That's the hope. It was 75 degrees here on Sunday. And today is Tuesday and it's 25. So I'm hoping we get back up to the 75. But I don't know you, but it really does not feel like holiday time to me quite yet. It does not feel like it's the second week of November.

SPEAKER_02:

I think what is hard too, at least for me, is just how aggressive holidays are already starting to be when we haven't even hit like Christmas. Like I love Christmas, do not get me wrong. And it's like my husband's favorite holiday. Like it's a my family's very like favorite holiday, like it's a big thing for us. But like there's already Black Friday sales and there's already Christmas trees and all that stuff. And like even before Halloween. And for me, I'm like, can we just have one holiday at a time? And I feel like because they're all just getting blended, it just fe it doesn't feel natural. And I don't like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, I could see that where it wasn't even Halloween yet, and there was Christmas stuff up in the stores and everything. Like it feels like we just can't enjoy the present moment and we're constantly jumping to the next thing, the next thing, and we're just always overstimulated with that.

SPEAKER_02:

100%. And it's just, I just feel like it's like you said, I it's a lot and it's overstimulating, and it's just very overwhelming. Like I want to be able to just be present and have the holiday, and I want to be present and enjoy one moment at a time. And I feel like we just like even Black Friday sales, they just keep happening like sooner and sooner and sooner. And now listen, I love a bargain. I'm not gonna say no about like saving some money, you know what I mean? However, I just feel like it's too much.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, it's a lot, and holidays are hard. And yes, I this is actually, and this might sound strange, so I'll explain it, but this is my favorite time of year for the work that we do because I think there's so much that we can plan for and we can talk about. And, you know, at the end of the day, like holidays are supposed to be relaxing and fun and enjoyable and pleasant. And of course, for a lot of people, they are stressful and they're filled with grief and you know, they're really challenging. And I just always think like if there's like any little thing that I can do or help somebody plan for or talk about that's gonna make it just a touch less stressful and a touch more enjoyable, like that's such a rewarding, beautiful thing. So I like this time of year work-wise a lot.

SPEAKER_02:

You're such a pure-hearted soul, it just makes my heart so happy. Like you just saying all that just literally made me like smile ear to ear because you're not wrong, right? And that's why I know not all of our clients love having to work with a dietitian because you force them to go towards their fear, right? Like you are helping them become more comfortable with food and they don't want anything to do with it. And so I under I understand the hesitation, I understand the discomfort with working with a dietitian. However, working with someone like you as their dietitian is just so pure because and I know you hate compliments, so I know you're really like itching out of your skin right now, and you're so welcome, but it's just so nice because uh you truly love what you do. And you just you are such a foodie, you're such a good person, you just love the education of receiving, like you were talking about in our last episode, as well as giving. And I feel like it just allows such a safety for having to deal uh with how to cope with the holidays because this time of year it is all about food, right? Like, are you having your Christmas cookie party? Are you having, you know, you know, what appetizers? Are you having a friends giving? Are you doing, you know, Christmas with your friends, your holiday party at work, right? There's so many different avenues where food and body and mental health are so involved with all of this that I just love the passion you have. So I love, I love that you do what you do.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, thank you. That was very sweet. And I am uncomfortable with compliments, so I don't really know exactly what else to say back to that. And I'm rarely at a loss for words, but no, that was really sweet. And I think too, I mean, yeah, there's so there's so much around food this time of year. And and look, food is hard every day of the year, right? It's um, you know, when it's a stressor for somebody, we always talk about this like it is an everyday, multiple times a day stressor. Obviously, that's amplified around the holidays too, which becomes incredibly challenging. Yes. And again, I think there are though things that we can plan, things that we can talk about, you know, and work on. And if we can help make people's holiday season just a little bit brighter, you know, I mean, that's such a gift that that we have the ability to be able to do that too.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, right? Because even with like within everything of the holidays, I know, at least like for me, because like I was saying kind of before, like I'm such an outfit fashion, especially a makeup girly. You know how I am with my makeup. Not that you can tell today. But I always love having like getting ready to do something festive, right? Whether it's buying a new skirt, whether it's buying, you know, a a new outfit, being able to try new makeup look. Am I putting color on? What am I doing? Oh, one of my favorite things to do, especially for Christmas. My family hates it. And so now I do it out of spite because this is who I am. One Christmas, I thought I was being so cute and I wore green lipstick to Christmas Day because I thought, I know, Megs, I know. Who why I thought that was cute, beyond, but I got a green lipstick for my birthday one year, so I was like, oh my god, festive. People are gonna think it's so great. I was berated on how stupid it looked by my entire family. We're all Italian, so there is no filter. So now, because everyone hated it, now I do it every Christmas just because I, you know, I have to. And so thinking about our clients, you want those things to be special. You want people to be excited about walking into a room and like smelling all the food or seeing everything or being able to be like, oh my God, I want to buy a new outfit. What am I gonna do with my hair? I want to be excited about what I'm gonna look like and things like that. And it's it's definitely something that it is like a gift that can that keeps on giving as providers to our clients of saying you can have the holiday that you love and you can feel comfortable on your skin and you can feel secure around food. We just have to get there in figuring out how to. Is it's I know like for me, it's so enjoyable because I know what can be at the other end of that conversation. And I just and you and like you said last week that you're such a golden retriever, and like same, like I love like way too positive for my own good sometimes that I get excited about this time of year too, for that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, no, absolutely. And since you brought up body image, I want to start there. So when it comes to body image and the holidays, what would you recommend for people? What's like any tips that you have in order to, you know, feel more confident, feel more comfortable when it comes to body image related to holidays?

SPEAKER_02:

Great question. One of the things, and this is kind of like a general, not just necessarily towards holidays, but what is a style that you know feels comfortable for you, right? Because I know especially for holidays, the spread is so vast, right? In regards to the types of foods that are gonna be there. And so we want our we want to feel comfortable in our skin if we know that there's a potential that we're going to be so in our heads about what it is that we're eating, right? So I always like to say to clients, if you're going to be eating all day, if you're going to be surrounded by food, you know, sometimes just feeling the fabric on our skin can be overstimulating within itself, right? So do we like loose fitting clothes? Can we wear tight clothing? You know, what is kind of the what is the style that's going to make us one, just feel good in our skin, just as literal skin, right? And then it's then going into, okay, what style do you like? What is something that's going to make you look in the mirror and be like, okay, I I like this. We don't have to love it. We can be morally neutral, but we want you to feel like you're getting dressed and you're liking the outfit, right? We don't necessarily have to feel great in our skin, right? Because I know that's a tough pill to swallow when we're not used to that on the day-to-day, let alone on a holiday. But if we're excited about what we wear, that can make it a little easier, right? So if we're like doing the research of like, oh, I would love to wear this outfit, I would love to do that, how can we make that a thing for us? So it's always what is the type of clothing that we can feel good in that's laying on our body, and then what's a style that we know is going to like really be about our personality and about who we are that we're gonna feel excited about putting it on. Because sometimes, not dress to impress, but look good, feel good type of a thing. And if we're going to put something on that we like the idea of it, sometimes it can help us feel good. So that's like one space that I always like to go to because clothes are meant to fit the body, the body's not meant to fit the clothes. And so if we then say to ourselves, okay, well, I love these clothes and I love the style, and my body doesn't have to stop me from wearing what I truly love and enjoy, let's go down that path and let's prove to ourselves that we can do that. Because even people that don't struggle with eating disorders will say, I know that for holidays, I like to wear something loose fitting because the all of their favorite foods that maybe they only see once a year because of the holiday and who brings that specific food is there. They only get it. And so they're like, I just want something loose-fitting and comfortable for a day of sitting and eating and talking and drinking, right? So it's a very normal thing. I so I like to also bring like the normalcy of that conversation too into it.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And I think too, everything you're talking about, wearing clothes that you feel comfortable in, you know, really tapping into your own style. What I was taking away from that too is just how that helps that individual feel more present. Because I so often hear that from other people and have felt it myself. You leave a holiday and there's a lot of people, and there's, you know, a lot going on, and it's a busy day and it's a hectic day, and you get in the car and you're kind of like, where did today go? You know, it flies by so quickly, and then there is this whole year before it comes again that we also want to be able to be present in the moment, have that awareness, get to have real, genuine conversations with people. And other people are not as conscious of what we're wearing as we are. And I find often too that when we're in something that we're uncomfortable with, that's then taking all of our attention, right? That's then leading to like, I'm fidgeting, I'm touching the shirt, I'm pulling the skirt, you know, down, up, whatever it is, I'm touching all of my clothes. And now I'm more focused on that rather than focused on being around family, focused on, you know, the meaning behind the holiday. And so I also think there's a piece there where it brings in that like awareness and being present. And that's a really important piece to all of this, too.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh my God, no. I love that you brought up that point because anything that we can do to stay present, that's what we go towards, right? And it doesn't, and it doesn't matter what that has to be as long as it's healthy. So it does matter. However, we right, like we want us to be able to remember the holidays because one of the things that clients will always say is, I hate that I don't remember what the holiday was like, or the only thing they can remember is how uncomfortable they were, or how they were so fixated on what they were eating, if other people were paying attention to what they were eating and just their constant fixation on the exterior rather than the moment. And so if we can create even like a little bit of a shift to where they can take away memories from the holiday, that's a win. And so if we do allow ourselves to wear something that allows us to be present, 10 out of 10.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, definitely. And you said something earlier, too, to kind of tie into the food piece as well. You said something about how there might be certain foods there that are only made once a year. And I feel like that's a topic that comes up all the time. And we can definitely talk about holiday eating and before day of the next day, you know, planning all of that. But I just wanted to highlight that one thing that you said too, because I find this happens really often where there's certain foods that are only made, you know, for this holiday. And on one hand, that can be like really special and exciting. And on the other hand, that can almost lead to this feeling of pressure or this feeling of a lack of access. And what I mean by that is, okay, if you know, Aunt Whoever only makes this pie once a year, then I'm going into eating that pie thinking this is my only opportunity to have this pie. So I want to have as much of it as possible. And that can lead to an uncomfortable feeling of, you know, well, now I'm feeling really emotionally full. Now I'm feeling really physically overfulled. And so there are probably some of those foods where, yes, that's and whoever's recipe, and maybe she doesn't want to share it, and it truly only is that once a year. But I think more often than that is there are opportunities to make those foods at other times of year to ask somebody for a recipe or to ask them to make it with you, right? Like, how special is that to be like, I love this pie so much. Could we get together and you show me how to do it? So I could make it at other times of year. Or, you know, I kind of always joke when this comes up with clients too, where they'll say, like, yeah, well, you know, I love stuffing on Thanksgiving, but like we only ever have stuffing on Thanksgiving. And I'm like, why? They sell stuffing mix all year round. Like stovetop is selling stuffing 24-7, 365. They would love if you bought it in March and made some stuffing, right? Yes. Exactly. Like we can make this at other times of year too. And when we do that, that can help neutralize those foods for us. And it can also help us, and this is where I'm tying it in, it can help us be more present in the moment. Because when we're thinking, oh my gosh, this pie, this is my only opportunity to have it. Now again, I'm so zoomed in on that, and I'm missing everything else that's going on around me. So I also think there's a piece of bringing in that awareness being present and how that relates to some of these foods too, where you know, for a lot of these foods, it doesn't have to be your only opportunity because that can feel so limiting. And we want food to feel, you know, as inclusive as possible.

SPEAKER_02:

And I always love when you bring that up because I remember us having this conversation last year. It's it's just so funny because you're not wrong, right? Like you can go to the grocery store, you can buy a turkey, literally whatever you want. You can buy a ham, you can make sweet potato casserole. Is that right? That's a thing, right? Like, hello. Like, you can make all of these foods. I know at a restaurant in my hometown, and Matt loves to get like, I think it's called the turkey gobbler or something like that. And it literally is a wrap with cranberry sauce and turkey and stuffing and all the things. And I remember one time being like, wow, you eat that outside of Thanksgiving, so ingrained that you have something during the time. And I would never, if someone's gonna make me Thanksgiving feast, I'm not saying no. But when I'm looking at a menu and I see it, it is one of those things where I was like, oh wow, that's interesting. But it's a crowd hit. Like everyone loves it because it's warm and it's comfortable and it's inviting and it's soothing. And it is just such a good thing to remind yourself that we don't have to be restrictive in the sense that you can only have this type of food once a year, right? That's still a restriction. You might allow yourself that once a year, but again, that's an allowance. You can eat it whenever you want. So reminding yourself that you can ask someone, hey, can we make this together? Or if you just on a Tuesday you want a turkey, you want a Thanksgiving spread, have Thanksgiving turkey spread. You could like it's such an interesting concept because you don't always think about it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, absolutely. And everything that you were describing too, right? It's conditional. And I know we've talked about this concept of how you know a lot of our relationship with food is conditional and really what we're working on is unconditional. And if you feel like you're at a place right now where your relationship with food is conditional, as you're working on that and you're working on that unconditional, this might be a really kind of concrete specific example. So, like holiday foods don't just have to be on the holiday day. Maybe it's making them, you know, months later, maybe it's just even allowing yourself to try it again the next day and have those leftovers, right? That right there could be a way to challenge the food rules that are coming in and coming up for you. And there's a lot of different ways that we can challenge this and continue to work on our relationship with food, even during these holiday days.

SPEAKER_02:

Dude, you said leftovers, and I literally, I know I probably audibly gasped because I love Thanksgiving leftovers. Honestly, sometimes more than sitting down for Thanksgiving themselves, like waking up and knowing I have leftovers of Thanksgiving is probably one of my favorite things about the Thanksgiving holiday, unless it's turkey skin. I need a whole plate of turkey skin the night of Thanksgiving because I'm obsessed with skin. Literally, when I walk into the house, my mom has a plate of skin waiting for me. I I swear I'm not weird. Uh well, no, I am weird. But like I'm obsessed with turkey skin. But knowing about the leftovers the next day, it's just, it's so good. And that's what I want for our clients, right? Like I want them, or not even just our clients, like our listeners, everybody in the world. I just want everyone to be able to feel that sense of neutrality to over excitement of wow, this food is so good and I'm excited. Or like, oh my God, Thanksgiving. Cool, right? It doesn't have to be like an excitement thing, but just going in knowing that the food is gonna be there and everything is gonna be fine and you're going to enjoy it. If I had a magic wand, I would do it. That's all I know.

SPEAKER_00:

And there's obviously a lot of people like us out there, right, who, you know, can see that neutrality and, you know, again, right, like want these holiday times to be, you know, feeling more special for people, feeling less stressful. But we also have to acknowledge that there are a lot of difficulties around the holidays and people who don't see food as neutral around you. And that comes up in food conversations, weight conversations, body conversations. So, you know, I know this is a topic that you hear about and talk about a lot, same here, but would love to hear some of the ways that you encourage people to set boundaries during the holidays when those, you know, food and body comments come in.

SPEAKER_02:

Great question. And I a place where I always start with clients is what is your comfort level with boundaries? Because if someone isn't comfortable setting a boundary, it's gonna be so hard, right? Because if you're used to just taking it and, you know, because you don't want to rock the boat, you don't want to upset anybody, which, like, hey, people please are number like 101 over here, totally understand not wanting to rock the boat. So I always like to think, too, do you need an external or an internal boundary? Like, what's going to feel more comfortable for you to do that? And what I mean is, do you need to have that dialogue internally? So you're saying to yourself, you're okay, you're safe. This is their stuff, this isn't my stuff, I don't have to pay attention. I can physically get up and I can walk away. I can go to the bathroom, not to engage in any behaviors, but we can go to the bathroom if we just need to like take a few breaths, if we need to go into, like I know my parents, they will have like cans of soda in the garage. So, like, do you need to get up and go into the garage to get a drink? Do you need to, you know, just look to somebody else at the table to have a different conversation? Like to me, those are more internal boundaries, or can you do an external one? Can you say, you know what, I don't really talk about food and body. Thank you so much. Can it be where they're like, oh, like I'm trying to think of an example of what somebody would say. Do you want me to give you an example? Can you? And I'll tell you what I would say. Role play. Ready? Go.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. Okay. I'll play the the the mean relative. Oh, you're getting another plate.

SPEAKER_02:

You're not full already from that first big plate. No, I'm still hungry. Thank you so much. And no need to monitor my food. I've got it. Yes. Love that. So if we want to be role direct, we can. Or you can say, oh my gosh, yes, this food is delicious. Do you want me to get you a plate too? And you can offer, right? Because sometimes we that was such a good one. That was a good one, Max. But there was, you know, people are so afraid to have food be normal that you will always be the outlier because our society unfortunately makes food the devil. Right. So you will sit there and even if you say, No, I'm really good. No need to monitor my food. Thanks so much. Oh wow. I why are you getting so defensive? What do you hope? Right? They're gonna come back at you. Not being defensive, just thank you, and I'm okay. I'm gonna go get food now. Do you want some? The more you have the comfort and the ability to have that quick wit, whether you make it a joke, right? Because sometimes humor is a coping skill. So if we snap back with a joke, if we snap back with a, oh, would you like some to make it an inclusive thing? You're more than welcome to. Sometimes we also just have to know that they will always have something to come back with. So, you know, and one of the things I always teach clients is that like you can set the boundary, but they won't always respect the boundary. So, how are you also just going to continue that internal and external boundary of say your piece externally, say your piece internally, and go about your business and do what you gotta do. Because some people will just be like, Why are you offering to get me more? I'm done. I would never have a second plate. Awesome. See ya. Right? Like sometimes that physical barrier to is so crucial because truly, like, even if someone's just talking about emotions in general, not even about holidays, I will say, get up and leave the room. Take a deep breath because a change in scenery, a change in environment can easily change the mind.

SPEAKER_00:

That's great. And and I think too, I just want to add that it's so frustrating and it's so challenging when people set boundaries and they're not honored and they're not respected. And they feel like they're in that cycle of, you know, I've said this 10 times and it still isn't honored and respected. And it's really hard and it's really defeating. But I always think, too, it's so important for that person to keep hearing themselves set that boundary. And you also never know who around you maybe needed to hear that too. And for whatever reason, wasn't, you know, wasn't comfortable saying something or, you know, is holding something inside, and they might be so relieved and appreciative that you said, yeah, no, I am getting a second plate. It was so good and I'm so excited. Do you want some too? And that might have given them that relief, that permission to be like, then I can go grab something too. So it's so important for the individual, but I always think, you know, like there's a ripple effect that comes around us too. And it's important to note that.

SPEAKER_02:

You also never know who is listening to the conversation around you, not only just in the sense in the context that you were just describing, but even just all of a sudden you might hear someone else go, all right, so-and-so. They said no. Like they said they're fine. Or like, dude, why are you policing their plate? Let the girl, like, let the girl, let the boy go eat. What are you doing? Right. Like, you don't know how even other people can support you in that moment. And people might not, right? Some people might not interject. I know my family definitely would, but you also don't know how other people will show up for you in those moments, and you could be pleasantly surprised.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And I mean, I also always think about this when it comes to kids. And this is something, you know, as Christopher gets older and older, you're gonna see too, because kids are very perceptive, especially around food, at very young ages. You know, you will be surprised at how quickly he is starting to reach, you know, on your plate or is observing what you're eating. And so, you know, again, it's important, even if even when it feels like I set this boundary a million times and nobody's respecting it, like again, other people around you, you know, are going to be impacted by that too.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. It really is, I like the way that you said it before, it is a ripple effect. Which type of a ripple, we don't know, and we won't until it happens. But I think the the biggest ripple effect that's the most important is what you're feeling internally. Because the more that you practice setting boundaries, the easier it gets. And the more you radically accept and just understand that they might not give a heck about my boundary and what it is that I'm asking for, right? Like you're just gonna go into it and say, I know I need to do this for me. If they listen, great. If they don't, whatever. But I'm so proud of myself and I know I've got myself and I love myself and I support myself enough to be able to do the These things. And that's so empowering, regardless of what happens with somebody else.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, absolutely. And I also think, too, you know, there are ways when you maybe know that there's a person who's more likely to set a comment or has not respected boundaries in the past. There are also ways logistically to plan for that. Yeah. Maybe we adjust where we're sitting, you know, who we're sitting near. Maybe we don't want that specific person directly across from us or directly next to us. Yeah. Maybe we want to, you know, get a chance to talk with them and catch up with them outside of the table. And that might be the best environment. And then maybe there are our support people, you know, our kind of go-to people or go-to person who, hey, I do want that person sitting next to me, or I want that person right across from me. So they're the one that I'm looking at and they're giving me a nod and a smile or rolling their eyes at something, you know, somebody else says. Like we also need that too. And so that might not on the surface look like a boundary, but it is. It's a physical boundary that you're setting.

SPEAKER_02:

I love physical boundaries, right? And I think being able to know that you have that much love and respect for yourself is just like I said before, like so empowering. So it doesn't have to be a comment. It doesn't have to be, you know, this huge conversation. Just like you said, get up and move. Know who you want to sit next to, change the subject if they bring it up, right? Like you don't have to acknowledge it. If they're like, oh, you're getting more food, you can give them a smile and you can change the subject and you can do something totally different, right? It doesn't always have to be a thing for sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And sometimes not engaging with it is again, it's so helpful for everybody because I always say the most boring conversation anybody can ever have is everybody talking about how full they are. It's so boring. It's so, so boring. And there's so many other things we could be talking about and doing and engaging with each other with. And so, you know, the like post-holiday, and and again, you know, we're gonna have a bunch of holiday episodes, so we can talk more about the the food piece and everything too.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

But yeah, it's okay to change the subject. It's okay to walk away. You know, it could even be walking in the kitchen being like, Can I help wash some dishes? Because I just, you know, want a little bit of a break. And also too, setting time limits for the day. Maybe I don't want to arrive right at, you know, 12 noon. Maybe I want to give myself a little bit more time in the morning. Maybe, you know, I want to leave at this time because again, this is supposed to be a time for like rest and relaxation. And if your nervous system is elevated the whole time that you're there, then it is also okay to come a little late, leave a little early, whatever it is for you that you want to do. Yeah. So that way you also can go back, decompress, and actually feel like you got some rest and relaxation in.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. And you can take breaks, right? Like if everybody is sitting down at the table, but you're having a moment of just feeling a little overwhelmed, get up and go to the bathroom. You know, you see someone is getting up and they're, you know, going to do something, you can say, Oh, do you need help? Let me help you. You can get up and go. Because once again, changing the scenery and the environment can help us decompress a little bit. And if we're feeling that level of overwhelm and just almost like suffocating, what is something you can give yourself for that? Is that stepping outside, the like literally stepping outside of the home? Is that going into a different room? Is that sitting down on the couch for a second, just excusing yourself and giving yourself those five minutes of a deep breath can also be a game changer for the day.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, definitely. And I think too, you know, there's there's so many different ways to set these boundaries. And I hope that for everybody listening, you can see like there's no one way to do it, right? It's about like Jessica started this all with. It's about figuring out what you feel comfortable with, you know, and going off of that. Maybe it is more direct, maybe it's indirect, maybe it's a time amount, maybe it's a support person, maybe it's a combination of, you know, a couple of those different things. But we just want, oh, this is gonna be so cheesy, but okay, I it it's what came to mind, and I am super cheesy and corny, so that's fine. But we like truly want you to go into the holiday season being nouris and being empowered. And uh Yeah, we do. Even as I said it, I'm like, oh, I can already hear my husband making fun of me for that one. But that's fine. I can take it. I'm good sport, but we truly we want you to go into this holiday season being nourished, being empowered. And we hope that this was helpful. And again, we're gonna have some more holiday episodes coming out over the next few weeks so that way we can also talk a bit more about the nutrition piece. We can also talk about if you're a support person, you know, how can you support your loved one during this time? Hearing everything today about how challenging it can be. So we'll leave you with this for now. But thank you all so much for listening today. And we hope that this was helpful for you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, I'm very excited for the nutrition part because I have so many questions about that one. So please stay tuned for the continuation of this like holiday sector of season two. And if you guys have any questions, even though you want Maggie to answer, please feel free to comment them, shoot us, you know, a message on Instagram or send us an email, and we will definitely make sure to touch upon those in our next episode. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Bye. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Nourish and Empower Podcast.

SPEAKER_00:

We hope this episode helps you redefine, reclaim, and restore what health means to you.

SPEAKER_02:

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